Monday, April 30, 2007

Test Drive

After every repair project or modification there must be a test drive. That is the way it has been done for generations and will be done until the family line dies out.

The test drive is the moment of truth, the moment where it is discerned if the repair will hold or if hours of work have been for not. An ill-fated test drive can ruin your day and be a portent for further days or weeks of under-hood tragedy. That’s why I always bring my six-year-old daughter with me. She is an expert at pointing out vehicular ills, a sort of auto canary if you will. Her method is pure logic.

“Ok, daddy,” she’ll say, “Let’s use our five senses, well, except for taste. That could be gross.”

“I’m ready, what first?”

“Sight, but that’s kind of hard from inside the car.”

“Don’t worry, I looked everything over before we started.”

“Good, so let’s go to sound.”

“Ok, I’ll drive down to the industrial park and run over the train tracks. I think we’ll hear it if there’s anything loose.”

“And feel it too.”

“True, but what about smell?”

“I’m working on that now. So far, I don’t smell anything burning so the car probably won’t explode.”

“Good to know.”

Thursday, April 26, 2007

While I was working on the Saturn this evening I had a thought. Auto repair manuals are amusingly vague and should be revamped in order to offer more detailed step-by-step directions. The following section from the Haynes manual for the 1991 through 1999 Saturn illustrates the problem well:

1) Loosen the front wheel lug nuts. Raise the vehicle and support it securely on jack stands. Remove the front wheels.
2) Remove the cotter pin from the control arm-to-steering knuckle balljoint nut, loosen the nut and knock the stud loose by rapping sharply on the knuckle with a hammer. Remove the nut.

At first it sounds easy, logical and straight forward. Do not be deceived. Below I have prepared my own version of the same procedure. I believe once you have read my improved step-by-step you will appreciate the complexity of the problem.

1) Loosen the front wheel lug nuts. (socket size: 19mm) Raise the vehicle and support it securely on jack stands. (The frame rails are sturdy and excellent for jacking) Remove the front wheels. Inspect the fasteners that will be removed during the following procedure and liberally apply a penetrating oil to any that appear to be rusted. Continue to reapply the penetrating oil to the fasteners as necessary.
2) Remove the cotter pin from the castle nut that fastens the balljoint shaft to the knuckle on the backside of the hub. To do this, use a pair of diagonal cutters (AKA dikes) and start by straightening the bent ends of the pin so that they line up with the hole. Then grasp the loop of the pin with the dikes and pry the pin back and out of the hole. As the pin is released you will need to change the position of the dikes to keep the proper leverage. Also, you may be able to loosen the pin by slipping a small Phillips screwdriver or nail into the loop in order to pry the pin free. You may need to employ a hammer or pair of pliers to do this. If the cotter pin is rusted it will break, leaving you with no loop to grasp and no good way to remove the remains of the pin. Unfortunately, the shards, unless removed, will prevent the castle nut from being loosened. If this happens you will need to swear loudly and take a coffee break. Upon returning to the job, use a pair of needle-nose pliers to pull out the shards of the pin. If this does not release the pin, attempt to punch it out with a hammer and nail. Alternate this method with the pliers until the cotter pin shards are removed.
3) Before loosening the castle nut apply penetrating oil and allow time for it take effect. This is a good time to have a beer or call your mom to tell her how much you love her. Attempt to loosen the castle nut with an open wrench sized 19mm. If you are lucky, the nut will jerk loose sending the wrench and your knuckles into the axle. Stop crying, wipe the blood from your knuckles and get back to work. It’s only a flesh wound. If the castle nut does not loosen apply heat using a propane torch or similar device. Use heat liberally. If using a propane torch you will want to allow a good amount of time for proper heating. A good measure of duration for this procedure would be seven minutes or the playing time of the Beetle’s song “Hey Jude”. When heating the nut make sure not to damage the nearby rubber CV joint boot or you will want to call your mom again. You may need to heat the nut several times before you are able to break it loose. If after several attempts the nut still does not want to loosen you may need to go to the gym. If your arms are not strong enough to free the nut use your foot to push on the wrench. Hopefully, you don’t have spindle legs.
4) Once the nut is loose, free the ball joint stud. Use a pry bar or pitman arm remover to lever the ball joint away from the knuckle. You may need to rock the spindle or rap the knuckle with a hammer while doing this. If you intend to reuse the ball joint, make sure not to damage its rubber boot during the above procedure.
5) Once the balljoint shaft is loose, remove the castle nut. By now, the beer you had earlier will have made its way to your bladder. Take five to relieve yourself.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Long Time No Blog

Pardon my lapse! Its been a while since I last posted and do I have a good excuse for not writing? Short answer: no. Long answer: no, but I've been busy. . .very busy. Honest!

Since my last post I have been helping my brother, Nathan, rebuild the front steering and suspension on his ’98 Jetta. Nine years of ruts, pot holes and frost heaves had pounded that poor car’s undercarriage until it was as sloppy and loose as a. . . well, you get the idea. Last year, I had replaced all four dampeners with Boge Turbo struts and that was a good start and seemed to be the fix. But, old cars need constant love and attention. This time around the steering was getting wicked sluggish and there seemed to be a general clunkiness to the suspension. Based on the symptoms, we determined that the power steering rack had gone to its final reward and needed to be replaced. To replace the steering rack, the sub frame to which the engine and transmission are mounted, must be detached and lowered. This requires that the engine be supported. To do this, we borrowed one of those engine support bars from a mutual friend who goes by the name Cheeseman. The engine support bar sits on the fender rails and has two chain-mounted hooks that can be used to raise and hold the engine in place while the sub frame is detached.

Because the motor mounts are unbolted during this procedure, we decided to replace them. Also, we decided to replace the ball joints and tie-rod ends. After all, removing these parts was required to get to the rack, so, why not put the car back together with as many new parts as possible? Certainly, the tie-rod ends and ball joints were not completely fatigued but, considering road conditions, it was only a matter of time before these parts failed. By no means is this a new philosophy. I once had a dentist who operated under this mentality. “Well, you have a cavity that I need to take care of. And since I’m in the neighborhood I should fill the rest of your teeth too. They haven’t started to rot yet, but, it’s only a matter of time.” He was also a bit conservative with Novocain. I don’t go to see this dentist anymore. In fact, I haven’t been to a dentist in years. In addition to the parts above we also replaced the power steering lines and power steering pump. We did this because all of these parts were showing signs of wear. The steering lines were rusted and brittle and the pump whined like a country music singer. Needless to say, with all the new parts, the car now drives like new.

My next project is to replace the ball joints, control arms and tie-rod ends on my Saturn. After that, I have to rebuild the suspension on the Audi A6. So, it might be a while before you hear from me again.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Ode to the Flat Head Screwdriver

The flat head screw driver, being the most common screw driver in existence, is more valuable for other purposes than driving slotted screws. For screw driving, I’ll take a self-centering Phillips driver and matching fastener any day. It has been my experience that the slotted screw strips faster than paint off a road salt encrusted Jetta. For general utility, however, the flat head prevails. This versatile tool can be employed as a pry bar, chisel, can opener, gasket scraper, hole punch, place holder, shear pin, scribing tool, nose picker, bookmark and much more. With a bit of creative engineering and the use of a grinder and file the slotted screw driver can be transformed easily into a spade drill, scratch awl, center punch, throwing dagger and, in a pinch, tooth pick.

Currently, I use a large flat head screw driver as a hood opener for the white Jetta. Years ago, the hood-release cable snapped on this poor car allowing me to discover a new use for the slotted screw driver. Now, I could have fixed the problem the proper way, but what charm would there be in that. Besides, you should see the looks I get at the gas station when I pop the hood with a screw driver to check the oil.

To open the hood on a typical Mark II Jetta or Golf you slide a large slotted screw driver through the 'V' in the 'VW' symbol on the grill until the blade rests on the passenger side of the hood release mechanism. Now, with a bit of force, press the release towards the driver’s side. If done correctly, the hood will pop open. I’m sure there are a multitude of other uses for the ole flat head driver that I have not mentioned. Feel free to add to this list.