Miles per Gallon

I was perplexed by an article that I read, today, in "Car and Driver". The article was about the Mercedes-Benz E320 Bluetec. This new Benz, with its 208hp, turbo DOHC diesel 3.0l V6, is featured as a more fuel efficient choice than the standard gas-powered E320. By the way, this V6, with its unusual 72 degree bank angle, put out a whopping 400 lb-ft of torque at only 1600 rpms. This new Benz will also require the new "ultra-low sulfur diesel fuel" that will soon be coming to a pump near you. The article goes on to say that the diesel’s fuel economy rated better than its gas-powered counterpart by 7mpg in urban driving and 11mpg on the highway.

Further, one intrepid tester explained that he was able to achieve 31mpg on his daily commute with the new diesel Benz and that he had never been able to achieve that sort of mileage in a hybrid. (One wonders what sort of hybrid he is talking about.) Now that’s great, but, before you plunk down your hard-earned Marks you should consider that this two-ton fat boy still eats diesel at an overall rate of 30mpg. My 94 Saturn may not be able to turn a 15.1 second quarter mile but if I am steady with the throttle I can eek out close to 40 mpg during my daily commute, and, it’s gas powered. I will admit that, as a Civil Servant, I am never in much of a hurry, however, with fuel prices in Vermont hovering around $2.70/gallon for regular, I personally can deal with a slower, lighter and less fuel-hungry vehicle.

What perplexes me the most is why car magazines give out kudos for such low fuel economy performance. Eighteen years ago the 3800 pound Mercedes-Benz 350 was achieving 22mpg in town and 25mpg highway. The 350 was rated for 134hp and 229 lb-ft of torque. Is it really possible that we have only gained a handful of miles-per-gallon in the last 18 years? True, the new E320, with nearly twice its ancestor’s torque and power, is seconds quicker in the quarter-mile. True, the new Bluetec engine promises to burn cleaner than any diesel burning engine has in the past, but, it still gobbles fuel at a wallet thrashing rate. Why even discuss fuel-economy on a $60k auto when we all know that the person who can afford one of these cares little about the price at the pump. The consumer, rich or not, who really cared about reducing fuel consumption and CO2 emissions would stuff their materialistic pride in the closet and buy the most fuel-efficient vehicle available, period.

I had time, today, to look at the white Jetta. It still didn't want to start, so, I pulled the spark plugs. They were sooty and fowled with gasoline, which confirms my suspicion that the return line froze or that the fuel pressure regulator isn't working well. I used a kitchen match to burn the gas off the plugs and scraped as much soot as possible off with a bit of emery cloth. Once reinstalled, I disconnected the power to the fuel rail and turned over the engine to burn any residual gas in the cylinders. I then reconnected power to the fuel rail and upon turning over the engine the car roared to life.

I need to get a fuel pressure gauge to test the system. I suspect that the fuel pressure regulator is bad. However, I've read that this component seldom fails. The fuel pressure regulator is located at the end of the fuel rail. Inside this device is a spring-loaded diaphragm that is actuated by manifold pressure via a vacuum hose. This valve regulates fuel pressure to the injectors by allowing excess fuel to travel through the return fuel line and back to the fuel tank. If the pressure regulator fails, high fuel pressure can result causing fuel to flood the engine. This could lead to a rich mixture, observed as white smoke from the tail pipe, or, to hard starting if the pressure is excessive at initial turn over. Now, there are other possible causes. Perhaps, I have leaky fuel injectors, a vacuum problem or an intermittent obstruction in the return line. Only tests will tell. I'll get back to you once I know more.

Cassette Tapes

It was a long, stressful day at work today. But, during lunch I went for a walk and found myself at the door of Pure Pop, a small, local record store. I hadn't been there in a while so I thought it was time to check in and peruse the selection.

At the counter there was a long-haired hipster inventorying audio cassette tapes. "You guys still sell tapes?" I asked excitedly.

"Yeah," the hipster answered apologetically, "Believe it or not, there's still a market for them."

"I know, I'm that market!"

This is great news. Now I have a local source for cassette tapes. You see, I still have a tape player in my Saturn and my '84 Jetta GLi. It's part of my auto security system. Thieves take one look at my OEM equipped cassette player and move on to the next car, an SUV equipped with navigation and a six-disk changer.

The white Jetta is giving me grief. Today, it would not start, and I suspect, because of the way that it is flooding even though it has spark, that the return fuel line is frozen or that the fuel-pressure regulator has kicked it. Old cars always need things but from time to time I forget this and get frustrated. When this happens I have to re-center myself. I do this by checking out the Opel GTs for sale on EBAY. These sorry, old coupes from the '70s have not aged so well. My burden seems less when I contemplate the plight of any who should choose to drive or restore an Opel GT.

30th Birthday

It is difficult for me to metabolize the fact that I am now 30 years old. So, I will not try to. Instead, I will express thanks to God for allowing me to live this long, and, I will ask that I may continue to live and think and feel so that I might carry on with my work.

There was a mild storm yesterday that dropped about six inches of snow on the county. I was shoveling and clearing snow, when, for some reason I stopped and put my hand on the hood of the white Jetta. As soon as I touched it I felt a rush of emotions. I know that this car is an inanimate object but for a second I felt the same sort of affection toward it that I might feel toward my dog. Then it hit me. This car, like a dog, is a sort of creature in the sense that it was created by a creator. The car is not alive, obviously, it does not meet the requirements necessary to be considered animal life. But it is a creature, a sort of proto-animal, that we humans have created as an extension of our own body. I say extension, because the car enhances our mobility and mobility is a natural asset of the typical two-legged human.

There are other proto-animals. The internet, unlike the car which is an extension of our legs, is an extension of our mind. Like the car, though, the internet enhances a natural human asset; our ability to store and process information. No, the internet is not self-aware, but it is a network that allows the transfer of stored data from locality to locality. Like our brains this transfer is accomplished by firing electronic impulses through a host of networked nodes. This network of connections is flexible. If there is an overload or a damaged node then the information can be re-routed around the obstruction in order to maintain the same destination.

For a long time I have entertained the notion that people are not much more than sophisticated machines, albeit thinking and feeling machines that run through a growth cycle before declining and dying. We live in a physical world which necessitates our ability to perform work on the environment around us. Work is the application of force to move mass over distance and a machine is a device that performs or assists in performing work. It’s basic physics. Guess what you’re doing right now. You’re moving electrons in your brain, electrons have mass, therefore your brain is a machine performing work.

Obviously, there is more going on in most brains, George W’s aside, than the transfer of electrons from place A to place B. This is where things get a bit tricky. It is apparent that our brains are superior to the brains of the other animals on our planet. However, even your typical cat demonstrates the ability to process and act on gathered information. For example, one of my cats has figured out how to open certain doors in my house. My house is old, built in 1880, and some of the doors don’t latch tight. At first, it was by accident. This particular cat was upset about being shutout of the bathroom while I was showering. I guess it missed me. So, it started clawing at the door and happened to hook a claw on the door’s bottom edge. When it pulled its paw back the door opened. Here we see instinct leading to discovery. Next point, we keep the cats’ food in a bag inside a closet with a closed door. If you leave the bag out the cats will feed themselves and get very fat. This same cat applied its newly discovered tactic to the closet door and gained access to the food. We have since added a latch for extra security. This cat has demonstrated consciousness. The cat, having in mind the goal of acquiring extra food, considered the problem of the closed, closet door by drawing on its past experience with the bathroom door. Realizing the similarities of the two situations, the cat decided to solve the problem by applying the tactic used on the bathroom door to the closet door. Now, this is a simple thought process. I don’t think I have to worry about my cat schooling me on Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, but neither have I been sleeping so well since this all transpired.

I can not claim to legitimately understand the mind or consciousness, nor can anyone else. So, where am I going with this? The cat is alive and capable of thinking to a certain degree. The cat is not an extension of our own being in the way that a car or the internet is. Yet, this autonomous creature, like us, is a machine. At this point, we are still pulling the levers behind the machinery we build. However, we are always working to create more sophisticated machines. The cars built today have sensors to modulate braking when conditions are slippery or if a potential roll-over is detected. There are plans to equip future vehicles with sensors that will detect impending collisions with other vehicles. The sensors will allow the car’s computer to engage the brake at the proper rate to avoid the accident. At this point, the data is processed by a pre-programmed computer. I have to ask myself, however, how long will it be before these systems are able to make their own adjustments based on data gathered during past experiences?

Comming soon: Man and Porsche; a tragic intersection